What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say

Initiating a conversation online may cause severe writer’s block. One of the boons of meeting someone in person is that you’re forced to work through the awkwardness pretty quickly. But online? It’s so incredibly easy to stare at your screen (or their picture…) and freeze up. What do you say?

I won’t give you three easy steps to writing the perfect opening message. I cannot guarantee that a certain line will bring certain results. What I can do is offer you some input on what works for our LFGdating members. Every day, our members message back and forth. They begin relationships. They take relationships offline. Here is what they say and how they say it.

It’s ok to write a short message, but you gamble when your first message is under two sentences.

Say hello, comment their photo or tell them what you like about their profile. It’s funny, and it’s cliche for a reason, but if you’re in the same part of the country, even talking about the weather for a sentence or two can work wonders. The goal is to stay above the two sentence minimum. Another quality play is to ask them a question that pertains to their profile. They say they like enjoying coffee? Ask him or her what their favorite brand is. They like gaming after work? Ask them what they’re looking forward to playing tonight.

Upload a profile picture.

This sounds like it has nothing to do with the message, but it actually does. When this person opens your message, they’re going to see your picture too. It’s the natural response when someone reads a message for the first time. Simply put, your odds of meeting someone improve dramatically when you upload a profile picture.

Be positive!

If you’re anything like me, you have a tendency to fall back on self-deprecatory remarks when you’re nervous. Don’t. Compliment the person you’re writing to, and if you want to write a line or two about how you two relate, be positive! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being humorous – just don’t let it be at your own expense.

Lastly, go for it! You’ve done all the legwork. You’ve created a profile, uploaded pics and searched your matches. You’ve put yourself in the exact, ideal position to meet someone!

Take a line from the LFGdating headquarters: make it happen!